


'No Good Deed...'

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-28 14:03:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: Blair learns the hard way that ‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished’ when he stops to pick up a hitchhiker in the rain.





	1. Prompt - Dead Certain

**Author's Note:**

> A SenBingo story in 5 Chapters = 5 Prompts  
> 1\. Dead Certain  
> 2\. Hitchhiker  
> 3\. Old friend  
> 4\. Fighting words  
> 5\. Coming out of the closet

**Chapter 1: Prompt – Dead Certain:**   


“That was a great meal, man. I’m stuffed!” Blair chuckled as he loosened his collar and tie with a sigh of relief. “And I have to say I enjoyed the company too, even if you weren’t what I was expecting!” and he grinned at his friend and partner, who was crossing to the kitchen. 

Jim smiled back as he reached into the refrigerator to grab a couple of beers, popping off the tops before handing one to his young roomie. “Yep, me too, Chief,” he replied. “To be honest, I wasn’t at all sure I wanted to take Cassie up on her invitation anyway, and as it turned out, I think we had a better time of it by ourselves. And I have to say, Chief, you really do scrub up well! I nearly didn’t recognise you without your flannel!” 

Blair huffed in mock affront before slanting a knowing glance up at his bigger partner. “Well, Jim, you don’t look too shabby yourself. But you always did look hot in a suit.” 

Suddenly realising what he had let slip, he quickly looked away, but not before he caught the flash of surprise on Jim’s patrician features. _Shit, Sandburg! Why can’t you keep our big mouth shut? Now what’s Jim going to think? Maybe I’d better start packing._

As the pause lengthened uncomfortably, Blair finally gave in and raised his head anxiously to check out Jim’s reaction. To be completely dumbfounded by the fond, if slightly sardonic, smile being directed at him. 

“Uh, you’re not mad, Big Guy? I mean, I didn’t offend you?” he muttered nervously, praying that he hadn’t ruined everything between them after all. 

“Why would I be offended, Chief?” came the gentle response. “Everyone likes a compliment, and it’s not as if either of us has a problem in that direction. Hell, we flirt all the time. I just assumed that you weren’t interested in a relationship because you didn’t want to ‘go native’, like you told me when you moved in with me. Is it safe to say that you might be changing your mind?” And now there was a definite glint of hope in Jim’s cornflower blue eyes. 

“Oh, man! Oh, yes, Jim,” breathed Blair as he reached for Jim’s hand to pull him down onto the sofa beside him. “If…if you want me, I’m so down with that. I’ve wanted you like, forever, man. I mean, you’re gorgeous, Jim. Who wouldn’t want a Greek god like you? 

“But what you see in me, I don’t know,” he added disconsolately. “I’m just a short, mouthy Jewish nerd,” and he ducked his head, ashamed to let Jim see the disappointment and self-deprecation in his face. 

He was surprised when a large, warm palm cupped his cheek, gently turning his head to face Jim, whose eyes and expression were now soft and kind. 

“You looked in the mirror lately, kiddo?” he murmured. “I still think you’re one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever seen, Chief. Blair. But I have to tell you, that I don’t just want a quick fuck. If we’re going to do this, it’s got to mean something. What do you say?” 

Blair was silent for a moment, considering his response. If he were honest, it was what he’d always wanted from the moment he first set eyes on Jim in the hospital. He was happily bi, but had stuck to dating women only since moving in with Jim, simply to keep his mind off what he thought he couldn’t have. But now Jim was offering him everything he’d ever wanted, and he was scared. Scared that he wouldn’t be good enough, because he’d never been in a committed relationship in his life. Could he do it? Could he be faithful to Jim long-term? Because that’s what it would entail. 

Raising his head determinedly, he met Jim’s quizzical gaze steadily. “Yes, Jim. I say yes. If you can be patient with me, because I’ve never been in a relationship that’s lasted more than a couple of weeks before. I always cut and run before I have to give more of myself than I’m prepared to give. You know what Naomi’s like, after all. Her example was always ‘detach with love’, so I never knew any better. But I’d like to learn, Jim. With you.” 

“Well, as far as I’m concerned, kiddo, we’ve been in a committed relationship for several years now. Simon’s always saying that we’re more like an old married couple, and I think we’ve got all the domestic wrinkles sorted already. The only thing missing is the sex, and we can do something about that right now. If you want?” 

Suddenly Jim was dazzled by a beaming Sandburg smile. “You’re right, Jim! I never thought about it like that, but you’re right. And yes, I do want! Now?” 

And who was Jim to deny him? 

Holding out his hand, Jim rose to his feet. “Don’t know about you, Chief, but I think my bed’s the best option for our first time, don’t you? Making out on the sofa has its appeal, but not for after-sex cuddling. You do cuddle, don’t you?” he added hopefully. 

“Sure do, man! And I’d love to be in your bed. Let’s go!” and with a shared chuckle, they raced hand in hand up the stairs, to fall together on the big bed, suddenly all hands and mouths as they kissed and fought their way out of their formal suits. Within seconds they were gloriously naked, and both paused in mutual admiration as they beheld each other properly for the first time. For sure, they had caught glimpses of each other on occasion, streaking from the bathroom or in Jim’s case, giving Blair an eyeful on the rig when he was washing himself down in the shower, but this time they could take their time to enjoy the view. And enjoy it they did. As far as Blair was concerned, Jim’s sculpted physique was as good, if not better, than Michelangelo’s David, and he said as much as he reached out reverently to caress the broad chest. On the other hand, Jim was enchanted by his soon-to-be-lover’s smaller, sturdy but compact body, less buff than his, to be sure, but still well-defined, the soft chest hair just begging for his touch. 

And as they moved together again, exploring, touching and tasting, their heated lust grew exponentially until they came almost as one, even without penetration on this occasion. 

Lying together in a tangle of limbs, both of them sated and content, Jim realised that for possibly the first time in his life, he felt truly whole. His senses were smugly saturated with essence of Sandburg, and hummed along nicely, allowing him to wallow luxuriously in the sensation. 

As for Blair, he felt thoroughly loved and possessed; cherished, in fact, like he had never been before. In all previous sexual encounters with women, he had usually done most of the work, determined to pleasure his lovers because he had little or no vanity, genuinely believing that he was no great catch. And the few men he had dated had rarely gotten past first base purely as a matter of self-protection. But he knew he wanted Jim to take him, because he knew that his sentinel would be gentle and careful, just as he promised himself that he would be should Jim do him the honour of reciprocating. 

“You OK?” Jim whispered in his ear. “It’s a bit late to ask, I guess, but are you really sure about this?” 

And Blair replied, “Oh, man! You know it, lover. I’m sure. Dead certain, in fact. This is all I’ve ever wanted. I realise that now.” 

“Ditto, babe,” murmured Jim drowsily, and in moments, they were both sound asleep.  



	2. Prompt - Hitchhiker

**Chapter 2: Prompt – Hitchhiker:**   


**Some weeks later:**  


To an outsider, Jim and Blair’s partnership would have appeared much the same as before. They still interacted easily in the bullpen with each other and with their friends and colleagues, and if there was an added hint of sparkle and tacit invitation in their glances every so often, it would have taken a sharp eye to spot it. The simple fact remained that Blair was positively paranoid about the possible repercussions should Jim come out as a gay cop, having heard all the horror stories about backup failing to arrive, etc., etc. For himself, Jim wasn’t so worried, but he bowed to his lover’s preferences and kept their new relationship to themselves. After all, what they did in the privacy of their own home was nobody’s business but theirs, and there was little point in making things uncomfortable for themselves unnecessarily. Besides, although he didn’t let on to Blair, sentinel hearing had been picking up rumours for months now about their perceived sexual activities; many of the PD’s personnel already assuming they had been sleeping together for years. After all, for those not in the know about Jim’s ability – which was nearly everyone, anyway – there didn’t seem to be any other reason for Blair’s continued presence in MCU. How long did it take to write a dissertation anyhow? 

But these more cynical opinions he kept to himself, happy just to enjoy his new lover, and the peace and contentment this new level of intimacy bestowed on him. 

Today, however, he wasn’t quite as contented, on account of Blair’s absence from the bullpen. Of course, his lover had his own responsibilities at the U to juggle with, so he couldn’t be at Jim’s side all the time, but on this occasion it was because he had been more or less ordered to attend an important anthropology seminar in Olympia, and he had been away for two very long days. He wasn’t due back until tomorrow morning, and the wait seemed interminable to the lonely sentinel. 

Scowling intently at his computer screen and deep in thought, for once he didn’t immediately notice H’s arrival in the bullpen, or register the cheerful younger detective striding jauntily over towards him, his dapper partner Rafe at his shoulder. 

Startling when H’s hand clapped him on the back, he glared up into the other man’s grinning face, H apparently completely unfazed by the hostile reaction. 

“Yo, Jim, my man! So, when’s Hairboy back?” And in the face of such good humour, Jim couldn’t hold on to his irritation. 

“Hey, H, Rafe. He’s driving back tomorrow morning, so might be able to spend an hour or two here later in the day. Unless he has too much to do at the U, of course. Why do you ask?” 

Laughing out loud, H winked knowingly while the more reserved Rafe looked on, a decided twinkle in his eye. “Why? Because we miss him, Jim! And not least because you’re so much easier to deal with when he’s here. He’s been good for you, my man!” 

Bemused, Jim replied, “I’m not that bad! Am I?” at which H chuckled affably, while Rafe smirked at him. 

“Sure you are, my man! But we love you anyway! Give my best to Hairboy, and tell him to get his ass in here as soon as!” And with that, the pair sauntered off to their own desks, leaving a wryly grinning Jim watching them go. 

Perhaps their ‘secret’ wasn’t as much of a secret as Blair fondly believed it to be, and he wondered when would be a good time to apprise his lover of the notion.  


\-------------------------------  


**Following morning:**  


Peering through the Volvo’s windscreen, Blair squinted painfully, trying to see the road through the driving rain. In typical Pacific North West style, the heavens had opened almost as soon as he had left the conference venue; the rain coming down so hard the windscreen wipers could barely cope. He supposed he ought to have waited a while to see if the storm abated a little before setting out, but he was so desperate to get back to Cascade and Jim that he had decided to risk it. 

_And that was stupid mistake number one!_ he scolded himself grimly. _Jim’s going to go ballistic when he realises that I’m travelling back in a monsoon. I’ll just have to let him have his wicked way with me as an apology!_ And at that thought, he grinned again, good nature restored for a while as he imagined that arousing scenario. Jim was undoubtedly the best and most generous lover he had ever had, or ever would have if he had his way, and there was pretty much nothing Blair wouldn’t let him do, trusting him implicitly not to hurt him or go too far. _Man, but that whole ‘control’ thing was hot!_ and he snickered reflectively. He never would have thought himself a fan of being dominated, but with Jim it was perfect – transcendental, even – as if they both knew instinctively how it should be between them. Sentinel and Guide. The guide of necessity having so much control over the sentinel’s everyday environment – his very sanity – and the sentinel reaffirming his possession of his mate in the privacy of their bed. A true balance of power. 

It was all good. Way better than Blair could have ever imagined. 

Suddenly Blair made out a blurry shape on the side of the road ahead, and he instinctively slowed down in case it was a deer or some such. Apart from the damage it could cause if it jumped out into his path, he would never forgive himself for hurting an innocent creature if he could do something about it. There was little enough traffic on the road at this time in the morning, and what there was was generally travelling at a steady speed, so there was no one to complain when he slowed down even further. He was almost abreast of the shape, when he realised that it was a man. A tall, very wet and miserable looking man. 

He knew only too well what Jim would tell him. _‘Don’t go picking up hitchhikers, Chief. Not with your rep as a trouble magnet. If anyone’s going to pick up a psycho, it’d be you!’_ But in all good conscience, there was no way he could leave the drenched figure standing there, so with a resigned curse, he pulled in just ahead. As the figure jogged up to him, he wound down his window. 

“I guess you need a ride, huh? I’m on my way to Cascade. Is that any good to you?” and he offered the dripping man a wan smile as he studied the rain-washed features. Close up, the guy was maybe an inch or so taller than Jim, and despite his clothing being waterlogged, he wasn’t badly dressed. He didn’t look like some sort of vagrant, and was in good shape. The features beneath the grey-blond buzz cut were regular and strong-looking, and the level grey eyes that met his were direct and steady. 

“Thanks for stopping, fella. I’d very much appreciate a ride to Cascade. I was heading there when my rental car died on me, and I didn’t expect anyone to stop so soon.” 

Blair looked over to where he was pointing, and belatedly saw the small sedan pulled up on the grass a short way away. Making up his mind, he said, “Get in, man, and you can use my cell phone to call the car hire company if you want. I can either drop you off at a garage, or take you on into town. It’s up to you, OK?” 

With a grateful smile and nod, the man trotted around to the passenger door and got in, apologising for soaking the car’s interior. “I really appreciate this, man. The name’s Brogan. Chas Brogan,” and he held his hand out to Blair. Shaking the offered appendage, Blair smiled back. “Blair Sandburg, Chas. I was on my way back from a seminar in Olympia. I was going to wait until the rain eased a bit, but I guess it’s a good job I didn’t, huh?” 

“Good for me, that’s for sure!” the other man chuckled. “There’re not many folks these days who’d stop, even for a veteran!” 

Instantly curious, Blair glanced over at him as he pulled back onto the road, wanting to know more even as he concentrated on his driving. 

“What branch, man? Army? Navy?” 

“Army, Blair. Just got my papers a week ago. I’ve been in since I was a kid – re-upped a couple times – but now it’s time to call it a day. Do something different. I’ve seen enough to last me over several deployments, and I decided to get out while I was still in one piece.” 

“I hear that, man,” Blair replied feelingly. “My roommate was in the army Rangers, and he said much the same thing. He’s a cop now. A detective in Cascade Central Major Crimes Unit. But he still looks pure military!” and he smiled reminiscently. 

He was aware of his passenger’s curious look, and guessed that the guy was wondering how a neo-hippy type could be rooming with an ex-military cop, but he wasn’t going to explain unless he had to. It wasn’t Brogan’s business, so he drove on in silence for a few more miles until he suddenly remembered his manners. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, man. Did you want to use my cell? It’s in the glove box.” 

Nodding his thanks, Brogan pulled out the instrument and dialled the hire car firm, quickly and succinctly explaining the situation and arranging for them to come and pick it up with a tow truck. Blair could tell that he wasn’t best pleased with the response, and his jaw was tight as he snapped the phone shut. _Wow, it must be a military thing,_ Blair thought facetiously as he noted the twitching muscles. _Just like Jim when he’s tense!_

“So, what do you want to do, man? Do you want me to drop you off at the nearest gas station until the tow truck arrives, or do you want to carry on into town?” 

“If it’s OK with you, Blair, I’d rather carry on to Cascade. They can keep their POS car as far as I’m concerned. I’ll be job-hunting anyway, so can probably use local transport for that.” 

“Fair enough, man, but what about luggage? Don’t you want to collect that?” 

“Shit!” Brogan swore softly under his breath before looking ruefully over at his saviour. “Completely forgot about that, son. It’s still in the trunk of that car, such as it is. But I don’t expect you to turn around and go back for it. I’ll be fine once I get a room for the night somewhere where there’s a laundry. I can call the hire company and tell them to keep my bags for me to collect later.” 

And afterwards Blair never knew what came over him, but he heard himself say, “You could come back with me if you want, man. At least to dry off and have something to eat. I’m sure Jim, my roomie, won’t mind.” _Oh yes he will!_ a sneaky little inner voice snickered. _He’ll be on your case as soon as this guy’s gone!_

But it was too late, and Brogan was already nodding enthusiastically. “That’s be great, Blair, son. That’s over and above, and I truly appreciate the offer.” 

And after that, there was nothing Blair could do but drive on, praying that his lover wouldn’t be too hard on him.  



	3. Prompt - Old Friend

**Chapter 3: Prompt – Old Friend:**  


**Later, in the loft:**  


Blair picked up the cordless phone and moved to stand by the balcony windows. He was desperate to hear his lover’s voice, even though he knew he was about to get bawled out. Brogan was in the shower, Blair having dug out a set of Jim’s old sweats for him to wear while his own clothes were laundered, since nothing of Blair’s would have fitted. Swallowing hard, he speed dialled Jim’s work number, both longing for and dreading Jim picking up. But he honestly didn’t know what else he could have done but give Brogan a lift. Then again, inviting him into their home was probably taking the Good Samaritan act a step too far. Jim would undoubtedly think so. 

“Ellison!” Jim’s brusque response brought a brief grin to Blair’s lips as he said, “Hey, Jim. It’s me!” 

Jim’s tone immediately changed to warm and affectionate as he replied. “Hey, Chief! You’re back already. I thought you’d have waited until the storms passed. I should be mad at you for driving in a downpour, but I’m glad you’re back home safely. Are you coming in later this afternoon, or do you have to report in to the U? The gang here’s missing you. And your good influence on me, apparently!” 

Biting the bullet, Blair screwed up his nerve and took a deep breath. “Um, no, Jim. I don’t need to go to the U until tomorrow, but I picked up a man who had broken down in the rain and he’s in the loft having a shower and he says he thinks he knows you and I’m sorry Jim, ‘cause I know you’re going to be mad but what else could I do?” 

“Breathe, Chief!” and now Jim’s voice was anything but warm. “Say that again. Did I hear you right? You _picked up a hitchhiker, and took him to the loft?_ Are you completely _insane,_ or do you have death wish? I’m coming over. Now!” 

“I’m OK, Jim, honest! I think he’s kosher when he says he’s an old friend of yours. His name’s Chas Brogan….” But he was talking to thin air, as Jim had plainly cut him off in order to leave the PD a.s.a.p. 

_Oh, shit. Now you’re in trouble!_ Blair thought resignedly. _Jim’s really mad at me this time!_ He was well aware that Jim’s anger stemmed from his love and care for Blair, and his need to protect his guide, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear when Jim scolded him for something he deemed was stupidly and unnecessarily dangerous. Especially when he knew he’d disappointed his sentinel again. 

Sighing despondently, he turned around to startle in surprise when he found Brogan standing behind him. 

“Trouble, Blair?” the big man asked casually. “I’m guessing the Jim Ellison I knew is still the same short-tempered SOB, eh?” and he chuckled at Blair’s perplexed expression. “It’s been a few years since I saw him last,” Brogan continued easily, picking up one of the photos of Blair and Jim together on one of their fishing trips. “But I’m sure this is the same guy. What a coincidence, huh?” 

Grinning uneasily, Blair nodded. “Um, yeah, who’d have thought?” he murmured. “You want some coffee, Chas? Or tea? Beer? Jim’s on his way over,” he added brightly. “So we’ll soon know for sure!” 

He wanted to make certain Brogan knew his cop partner would soon be arriving, just in case the other man had any nefarious inclinations, but in all honesty, Blair didn’t think it likely. Or at least, he hoped not. 

Meanwhile, at the PD, as soon as he had put the phone down, Jim had slammed into Simon’s office unannounced, cutting off his captain’s automatic complaint as he growled urgently, “Sorry, Simon, but I have to get back to the loft. Now! That was Blair on the phone, and the idiotic kid tells me he’s picked up a hitchhiker and taken him back to the loft! I’m going to chew his ass out good and proper once I’ve gotten rid of this…this _person!_ I just hope that when I get there Blair and the loft’ll still be in one piece!” 

“Well, hell, Jim! Go on, get going! And tell Sandburg that I’ll be wanting a piece of his hide too! Jeez, he’s been working here with you long enough to know better. But he’s always going to be a soft-hearted fool, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Go. And call me once you’ve gotten everything sorted, OK?” 

“You got it, sir,” and without further ado Jim virtually sprinted out of the office, bound and determined to get home to his guide and lover as quickly as humanly possible. 

Driving with grim determination, and cursing all the crazy-ass drivers who seemed intent on impeding him at every turn, Jim was tempted to use lights and sirens in his impatient anxiety to rush to his lover’s aid. He knew very well that the unexpected visitor might turn out to be completely harmless, but hell, they were talking Blair here. If anyone could get himself into trouble simply by being the gentle and kind-hearted soul that he was, it would be his guide. 

Pulling up outside 852 Prospect, Jim jumped out of the truck and ran into the building, eschewing the temperamental elevator to run up the stairs, not pausing until he reached the door of #307. Opening it quickly, he stepped inside, all senses on high alert, only to see his lover and another man sitting comfortably each with a beer in hand; plainly chatting amicably enough before his arrival made them look up. Blair’s smile and demeanour seemed normal enough, the slight uneasiness Jim could discern surely due to trepidation on Jim’s account rather than from any threat from their visitor. Relieved, Jim turned his attention to the other man, swiftly cataloguing his appearance and physical responses, only to find that he was relaxed and unworried, a lazy grin stretching familiar-looking features. 

“Hey, Jim! So it is you, man! How’s about this for a coincidence, then? Who’d have thought that your roommate here would have picked me up and brought me here? Do you remember me, Jim? Chas Brogan. Ex Master Sergeant, Marine Corps. We trained together before you got your commission and went into the Rangers, and met up a couple times since.” 

Relaxing himself now, Jim searched his memory, coming up with the appropriate information. 

“Uh, yeah. I do remember you, Brogan. How long has it been? Getting on for ten years?” 

“Something like that, Jim. We had a drink just before you and your team were sent on that Peru mission. I heard about how you managed to survive, Captain. You did good, in spite of everything. Not surprised you quit once you got back to the good old US of A though. And young Blair here tells me you’re a cop now. 

“So, how is it that you got an – what did you say you were, kid? - an anthropologist as a roomie?” 

“It’s a long story, Chas,” Jim replied, smiling at last as he took a seat beside them. “But we rub along OK, so it works for both of us. Doesn’t it, Sandburg?” he added, turning to face Blair, the warning in his expression clear. 

“Er, yeah, Jim.” Blair took his cue from his lover. They weren’t telling Brogan anything other than the accepted story. “See, like I said, I’m a Teaching Fellow and grad student at Rainier, and I met Jim when I asked for a ride-along pass so I could gather data for my dissertation. And when my building blew up, Jim let me stay here with him in his spare room. And I guess I never moved out,” he finished, chuckling disarmingly. 

Brogan seemed to accept the explanation at face value, or at least, he didn’t push for any further information, so Blair sighed internally in relief. Jim didn’t seem to be too mad at him now, and he really did know the guy, so perhaps everything would be OK after all. However, he suddenly realised that Jim was speaking again, and leading up to something that Blair didn’t like at all. 

“So, Chas, what are you doing in Cascade? You said you’re an ex-Master Sergeant now, so when did you get out?” 

“Just a few days ago, Jim. I’m on the look-out for a job. Something to keep the wolf from the door,” Brogan snickered. “I decided on the Pacific North West because I’ve had enough of deserts, dust and such. I’ve been checking out Seattle and Tacoma, and thought I’d take a look at Cascade too. Perhaps even Oregon if the mood takes me. And then my damn hire car packed up on me in the worst possible conditions. I can’t say how grateful I am to your young friend here for picking me up.” 

“Yeah, he’s got a kind streak a mile wide,” Jim agreed, although his dry tone told Blair that it wasn’t said in approval. “Have you got anywhere in mind for tonight, Chas? You can stay here for a couple of nights while you get your luggage back and find a place if you like. You can have Blair’s room. I’m sure he won’t mind sleeping on the sofa.” 

Jim deliberately didn’t look at Blair when he made the offer. He knew the kid wouldn’t be happy, but it served him right for bringing Brogan back here in the first place. Luckily the small room under the stairs hadn’t been altered or emptied yet, even though Blair was now sleeping upstairs with Jim, so it wouldn’t look suspicious to their unexpected guest. 

“That’s really generous of you, Jim. As long as it’s OK with your friend, I’d like that very much.” 

And what could Blair say? It was all his doing after all, but being consigned to the sofa was pretty harsh. Nevertheless, he forced a grin and said, “No problem, Chas. It’s too small for you to sleep on, so I guess my room’s best for you. And the sheets are clean on too!” he added with a shrug. 

“OK, then,” Jim said, getting to his feet. “So, now that’s settled, I’d better get back to the PD. I’ve got a bit more paperwork to finish. I’ll pick up pizza on my way home if you want?” 

That earned him a wide smile from Brogan, and a rather lesser one from Blair, who was obviously miffed. _Well, what did he expect?_ Jim thought. _If Chas wasn’t here, he’d be feeling the sharp edge of my tongue for his stupidity, so as a punishment, I guess a couple of nights down here on the sofa should do nicely._

Besides, he knew that, once Chas was gone, he’d make it up to his lover. And make sure they both enjoyed it!  


\----------------------------------  


**That evening:**  


Dinner over, Blair stood up from the table and gathered the remnants of the pizzas to take them to the kitchen. He doubted if he’d even be missed, since Chas and Jim were still enthusiastically engaged in reminiscing and literally exchanging ‘war stories’ which didn’t include Blair. In a way he was glad to see Jim so relaxed and comfortable in Brogan’s company, but he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. This was an example of the sort of camaraderie he knew existed within the military, but had never experienced, and the feeling of exclusion was painful, even if unintentional; on Jim’s part at least. As he tipped the crusts into the garbage and put the boxes and empty beer bottles into the recycling, he thought morosely about earlier, once Jim had returned to the PD. 

Almost as soon as Jim had left, Brogan had set about arranging to collect his luggage from the hire car company the following day, and once his laundry was done, had turned on the TV and pretty much avoided Blair. It was obvious that his interest in Blair’s anecdotes and studies had only been a polite affectation, and once he realised that the loft belonged to an old army buddy, he felt he could safely ignore the roomie, even if said roomie had saved his ass from the storm. 

And unfortunately Jim hadn’t helped any, because as soon as he’d come home with the pizzas, the chummy, comradely stuff had begun in earnest, until Blair wondered whether either man would notice if he left the loft altogether. He would have liked to have gone to bed, even if it wasn’t upstairs where he so wanted to be, but that wasn’t possible since he was going to have to use the sofa, and it didn’t look like Jim and Chas were ready to retire any time soon. So with a soft sigh, he reached into the refrigerator to get three more beers, resigning himself to a while longer making like a wallflower until he could finally get some sleep.  


\-----------------------------------  



	4. Prompt - Fighting words

**Chapter 4: Prompt – Fighting words:**   


**Following morning:**  


it was a tired and tetchy Sandburg who dragged himself to the kitchen the following morning, intent on brewing a fresh pot of coffee. He mused grumpily that he was going to need every bit of caffeine he could get down him to get through the day, since he had hardly gotten a wink of sleep last night. It wasn’t so much that the sofa was uncomfortable; because it actually wasn’t that bad for someone his size, at least; but he so missed the feeling of Jim’s arms around him, comforting and protecting him through the night. And the thoughts that had kept him awake were still there, and still causing him distress. Yes, he acknowledged that he had been pretty stupid for letting his heart rule his head and giving Brogan a ride, and a logical part of him could understand why Jim had decided to punish him by making him sleep downstairs. It wasn’t as if they needed to let the guy know that they were an item after all, because in all probability, he wouldn’t approve. But Blair being Blair couldn’t help but wonder if there were more to it than that. Never having the greatest self-esteem, he wondered if perhaps Jim was getting tired of him, and was using this as an excuse to ease out of a relationship that had to be problematical for the big cop. It was fun while it lasted, but despite Jim’s declarations regarding long-term commitment, Blair knew only too well that people got tired of him pretty quickly, which was why he had always made a point of getting out before he was pushed. _Insecurity, thy name is Sandburg,_ he thought despondently. 

But this time he had really thought it was the real deal, and not just because of the sentinel and guide thing. He truly believed that he had found ‘the one’, the person who completed him in every sense, pun not intended. He honestly didn’t know how he would get over it if Jim had changed his mind after all. He was so caught up in his morbid contemplation that he didn’t immediately register a presence until Jim’s welcome arms slid around his waist.  


\-------------------------------  


If Blair had but known it, in fact Jim’s night had been equally miserable. He had quickly grown accustomed to having a warm bundle of Blair to cuddle, and without his lover’s presence, the big bed seemed cold and inhospitable. He wondered uneasily if he had been too heavy-handed in Blair’s punishment, his conscience nagging at him constantly, and preventing him from getting much in the way of real rest. OK, he still believed that Blair needed to be shown the errors of his ways when it came to good deeds. The young man’s tender soul was always going to lead him into potential trouble without Jim there to rein in his charitable impulses to a certain extent. But banishment to the sofa hadn’t been the end of it, he realised now. He winced in recollection at his own behaviour the previous evening, seeing it at last from Blair’s point of view. He had been so caught up in typical ‘old warhorse’ reminiscing with Brogan, that he hadn’t really noticed just how much Blair had been side-lined and excluded from their conversation. But looking back, he could easily picture Blair’s growing sadness and the way he had gradually withdrawn into himself as he sat there, ignored and occasionally belittled by the other two men. It was beyond cruel, and unforgivable, Jim now realised, and he knew he was going to have to do something to make up for it, and soon. He couldn’t bear the hurt he had belatedly recalled seeing in Blair’s beautiful blue eyes, so as soon as he heard his lover get up and go to the kitchen, he slipped on his robe and sent out his hearing, needing to know what their guest was doing before going downstairs. 

He smiled grimly to himself when he heard the bathroom door close and the shower start running. He should have a few minutes clear in which to reconnect with his despondent guide before Brogan emerged again.  


\----------------------------------  


“Oh, man!” Blair breathed in relief as warm lips pressed against the soft skin beneath his ear. “Oh, Jim! I’m so sorry, man. Does this mean I’m forgiven?” 

Tightening his arms around Blair’s trim waist, Jim replied softly, “As long as I’m forgiven also, baby. I really didn’t mean to treat you so badly last night. It’s no excuse, but I guess I got so caught up in swapping war stories I didn’t realise how much I was ignoring you. But I’m going to tell Brogan that he’ll have to find himself another place today. I’m not going to go without my cuddle-bunny for another night! I missed you so much, babe. Last night was supposed to be a big ‘welcome home’ making out session, and look what I did!” 

Instantly forgiving, as was his nature, Blair smiled softly. “I understand, man. I mean, yes, I was a bit hurt, but it’s not often you have the chance to reconnect with someone from your past. I should know better than to doubt you.” 

“I’d much rather reconnect with _you,_ babe!” Jim murmured, allowing his lips to trace a path along Blair’s jaw to the corner of his lush mouth. “And tonight, I promise you fireworks, baby!” 

As Blair moaned in arousal, turning his head to lock his lips with Jim’s, neither man noticed the bathroom door open quietly to reveal Brogan’s frowning face. With the water still running, he had realised that he hadn’t asked if Jim had a spare razor he could use, so had peered out to see if his buddy was up yet. 

And got the surprise of his life when he had spotted the two roommates in a passionate lip-lock in the kitchen. 

_Shit! I was right!_ he thought angrily. _That little punk must be Ellison’s bed-warmer after all. Why else would he have a pretty little boy like that under his roof? He must be good in the sack for Jim to put up with him. Wonder if he’ll share? For old times’ sake?_

Withdrawing into the bathroom, he closed the door softly behind him and got in the shower, finishing quickly before exiting again, this time deliberately making enough noise for the two lovebirds to hear him. Sure enough, by the time he made it to the kitchen, an affable grin on his face, the two men were nonchalantly preparing breakfast as if nothing untoward had happened. 

_This might turn out to be fun after all._ And with that thought, Brogan smiled easily, and exchanged pleasantries until breakfast was over with, and Jim was ready to leave for the PD. 

“Will you be coming in later, after you’ve finished at Rainier?” Jim asked, grinning at his guide who had just emerged from the bathroom, grumbling under his breath about not having any hot water left. 

“Sure, Jim,” Blair replied, pulling his damp hair back into a ponytail and completely unaware of the covert, speculative look Brogan was giving him. “I have to check in with Eli, and then attend a lecture I can’t get out of, and then I’ll be in. I shall have to catch up with my office hours tomorrow, though.” 

“Fair enough, kiddo,” Jim said, before turning his attention to Chas. “So, you’ll be collecting your bags from the hire car office this morning, then? It shouldn’t be too difficult finding a place for tonight, buddy. There’s a Red Roof and Days Inn down by the marina, both of which are convenient for public transport if you’re intent on either job-hunting or sightseeing. Or both.” 

“Yeah, that’s my plan for today. And probably the next couple of days, Jim. And I want to thank you once again for your hospitality last night. It was great to catch up, man.” 

“Yeah, well, it was really thanks to Blair,” Jim replied, casting a swift, fond look at his guide. “If he hadn’t’ve stopped for you, we wouldn’t have had this chance, eh?” 

“Too right!” Brogan agreed jovially, although there was a strange glint in his eyes as they turned to meet Blair’s. 

“So, will I see you tonight, Jim? Meet for dinner? My treat!” 

“I don’t know, Chas. Maybe. I’ll let you know, OK? It depends on whether Blair has any plans.” 

And this time there was a definite hardening in Brogan’s expression, although it had been wiped away before he met Jim’s quizzical gaze again. 

“OK, then. I’ll wait to hear from you. You have a good day, now!” and Brogan’s smile became predatory as Jim closed the loft door behind him.  


\----------------------------------  


Once Jim had left, Blair turned towards his old room, intending to collect the books and papers he needed to stuff into his backpack for the U. For some reason, he knew he needed to leave as soon as possible, but didn’t really want to go before Brogan left also. He told himself it was stupid – that Jim’s old friend was hardly going to rob them blind while they were out – but the uneasiness remained even if he couldn’t really put his finger on it. Of course, it never occurred to Blair that the man could have designs on him, of all people, but then again, he was completely unaware of what Brogan had witnessed between him and Jim. He nearly jumped out of his skin therefore when suddenly a large, well-muscled body crowded him into the small bedroom before shoving him down face-first onto the bed. 

Struggling hard, but to no avail, he gasped, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? What’s up with you, man? No way you can get away with this!” 

“Fighting words from a little punk cocksucker!” Brogan growled mockingly in reply. “The only way you could be living here with Ellison is if you’re his bed buddy, and we military men share and share alike! So shut up and pretend I’m your fuck buddy if you want!” 

As he talked, he fought to pin Blair’s hands beneath him as he pulled and tugged at Blair’s jeans and boxers. Blair was absolutely terrified, because he knew he couldn’t fight Brogan off. He was going to be raped, and it was nothing remotely similar to the consensual power games he and Jim engaged in. There was never any real aggression or pain involved between them, but he knew this was going to be the real thing. 

And that made him mad. Furious, in fact, despite his fear. _No! I can’t let this happen! I WON’T!_

Wriggling harder, he managed to pull one hand free from beneath his body, and he groped blindly for the lamp on his nightstand. Brogan was focussed on trying to pull his jeans down, so didn’t see him grasp the heavy wooden lampstand and bring it up and back as hard as he could. And rather by luck than judgement, the makeshift weapon crashed against Brogan’s skull, the breaking bulb opening up a gash in his forehead which began to bleed profusely. 

Cursing furiously, Chas grasped at his face, trying vainly to stem the blood flow. “You little prick!” he snarled, backhanding Blair across the side of the head hard enough to make his ears ring. “I’m going to get cleaned up, then you’re going to pay. I was going to take it easy on you for Ellison’s sake, but not now! And when he learns what you did, I reckon he’ll take it out of your hide too!” 

So saying, he pushed himself off the bed and staggered towards the bathroom, certain that Blair was both too stunned and cowed to be a threat. But unfortunately for him, he had failed to remember the cardinal rule in combat, which was not to judge the opposition by appearances alone. The little ‘hippy cocksucking punk’ he thought he had left terrified and overwhelmed in the bedroom was anything but. 

Pushing himself up on shaky arms, Blair groped for his backpack, fumbling for and then finding his cell phone. Praying that it was charged, he pressed the speed dial for Jim’s office number, hoping that his lover was already at his desk. And sure enough, when Jim picked up at the second ring, he nearly cried in relief. Even before Jim could utter his customary barked response, Blair whispered, urgently, “Jim, please help! I’m at the loft, and Brogan’s gone mad! Help me, man!” 

Jim didn’t even question. “Hold on, babe, I’m on my way!” he snapped, even as he leapt to his feet, running over to Simon’s office. 

“Blair’s been attacked!” he barked at his astonished boss. “Going there now!” 

“Not without me, detective!” Simon replied, moving quickly to grab his car keys. “I’m driving, and as we go, you can call up for backup! Don’t argue!” 

Both men left the bullpen at a near run, Jim nearly vibrating in place on the short elevator trip down to the parking garage, and when they jumped into Simon’s sedan, the captain peeled out of the garage almost as fast as his detective and friend was wont to do. 

“Call up for support, Jim,” he snapped somewhat redundantly since Jim was already doing so. “So, while we go, tell me what you can about this attacker. I assume it’s the same guy you’ve been putting up at the loft? Blair’s hitchhiker?” 

“Yeah, I think so Simon,” Jim growled between clenched teeth. “I can’t believe I misjudged him so badly! I mean, I _knew_ this guy from way back when in my military days. I always thought he was a stand-up guy. A good soldier! But obviously I was wrong!” he ended; jaw tight enough to make the cheek muscles jump in protestation. 

Unashamedly using lights and siren, Simon drove as fast as was safely possible, and was soon pulling up outside 852, seconds before the backup unit pulled in behind him. Even before he turned off the ignition, Jim was out of the vehicle and sprinting towards the building, his sidearm drawn and ready as Simon and the two uniforms trailed in his wake.   


\----------------------------------  


Meanwhile, back in Blair’s bedroom, the shaky but determined young man had managed to lock the French doors, although he knew very well that the flimsy lock and glass panels wouldn’t hold Brogan off for long if he tried to break in again. But he told himself firmly that he only had to hold out long enough for the cavalry in the shape of his lover to arrive, so he gripped the broken lampstand in both hands and waited, resolved to try and hold off his attacker for as long as possible. 

Sure enough, it seemed like no time at all until the angry man returned from the bathroom, a thick dressing taped to his forehead, and an almost manic gleam in his grey eyes. He stopped outside the locked door, staring straight at Blair through the glass panes as he shook his head in disdain and assumed disbelief. “You pitiful little shit!” he snarled. “What the fuck do you think you’re playing at? Do you really think you can keep me out?” 

Swallowing hard, Blair gripped the lamp tighter and forced himself to meet his would-be rapist’s sneering gaze. “For as long as I need to, yeah, man! And if you have any sense, you’ll leave now. Jim’ll kill you for touching his own, man. I belong to him, and only him!” 

“Yeah, right!” Brogan growled, pulling his fist back to smash through the glass. “I don’t think so, punk!” 

However, before he could carry out his vicious intent, he was distracted by the front door crashing open to reveal an armed and very dangerous sentinel, whose steely eyes promised death and destruction. 

“Freeze, Brogan!” Jim snarled. “Cascade PD. You’re under arrest for assault and criminal damages!” 

Forcing a cheesy, disbelieving ‘who, me?’ grin, Brogan held his arms out from his sides. “Ah, come on, Jim! What’re you talking about? I haven’t done anything! But your little buddy has. Look at what he did to me?” and he pointed to his bandaged head, chuckling, “You’ve got a real firecracker there, Captain! He’s hot for anything you can give him, ain’t he?” 

The cold disgust on Jim’s face told him that his pathetic excuses weren’t making any impression, especially when Simon and the two uniforms appeared behind him. And when a dishevelled and pale-faced Blair unlocked the door and edged out of the bedroom, Brogan realised that the game was up. The little punk had his claws buried so deep into Ellison, and his PD colleagues too, that they were never going to listen to a real man. Sneering in disgust, he lowered his hands, saying, “OK. OK! Whatever you want, Ellison. But I feel sorry for you, man. I admired you, Captain, but not anymore. If you can take the word of a hippy punk over mine, then you’re not the man I thought you were!” 

To which Jim replied coldly, “And you’re not the honourable man I thought _you_ were, Brogan! You’re a disgrace to the uniform you used to wear, and all I can say is that I’m glad you’re no longer able to do so.” And with that, he holstered his firearm and left the uniforms to cuff and take the angry and bewildered man into custody as Simon read him his rights, the sour expression on the big captain’s face leaving Brogan in no doubt where he stood in Simon’s view. 

Walking straight up to Blair, Jim took him carefully into his arms. “Are you OK, babe?” he asked anxiously. “Did that bastard hurt you?” 

Realising what Jim needed to know without asking outright, Blair offered him a wavering smile. “Uh, no, Jim. I mean, yeah, I’m bruised up some, but that’s as far as it went, man. I managed to get him a good one with the lamp, man, but look,” he continued sadly, holding out the battered object. “I broke it Jim! I’m so sorry!” And that was the final straw before he broke down in earnest, sobbing into Jim’s chest as the sentinel held him close. 

“Oh baby, don’t!” Jim whispered feelingly. “You were so brave, little one! I’m so proud of you!” and he cuddled the shaking guide close, uncaring that Simon was looking on with a very perplexed expression even if the uniforms had already left with their prisoner. And when Blair’s sobs gradually diminished to sniffles, he carefully raised the tear-streaked face to look into his. 

“I love you, baby,” he murmured. “I never want to see you hurt like this again. I’m so glad you were able to call for help, lover, and I promise I’ll always come for you. Always!” 

Blair nodded speechlessly, simply reaching up to pull Jim’s head down so he could offer his lips for a kiss, which Jim gladly granted. It was only when a slightly self-conscious cough registered on their hearing that they broke apart, Blair blushing deeply in embarrassment while Jim remained cool and unrepentant. 

However, Simon’s expression changed to one of gentle inquisitiveness as he finally addressed the pair. “Ah, is there something I should know, gentlemen?”   



	5. Prompt - Coming out of the closet

**Chapter 5: Prompt – Coming out of the closet:**   


Blair sat on the sofa, a mug of fresh coffee clutched in his cold hands, and pressed closely against his lover’s side. Jim had an arm wrapped protectively around his shoulders while Simon perched on another chair, catty corner to the sofa where he could watch his two friends carefully. They all knew that soon Blair was going to have to go to the PD to make a statement, but in tacit agreement, Simon and Jim were giving him a few precious minutes to pull himself together. 

And also take the opportunity to fill Simon in on their new relationship. 

In all honesty, despite Blair’s uncharacteristic reticence on the subject, he was taken aback by the captain’s easy acceptance of Jim and Blair’s love for one another. He knew that he shouldn’t be surprised, since sadly Simon was only too familiar with intolerance of many kinds, but looking at it from a captain’s perspective; he was truly worried that the changes in their lifestyle would impinge on their ability to work together. 

And of course, should their relationship become widely known, he was still terrified of the repercussions for Jim within the department, it never occurring to him that he might be equally at risk, if not more so. 

However, both Simon and Jim seemed to be dealing with the whole issue with commendable aplomb, so he schooled himself to pull free of the stress and fear-induced funk in which he found himself in order to offer his own ideas and opinions. 

Raising his eyes to meet Simon’s warm and sympathetic gaze, Blair murmured, “So you aren’t that surprised to learn about us then, Simon – er – sir? I…I mean, I thought we were being pretty laid-back and undemonstrative. Do…do the others think the same way?” 

And he was somewhat shocked when Jim’s arm tightened around him as both the older men exchanged a wry grin. 

“You know what, Chief?” Jim answered fondly, “I think that as far as our friends in MCU are concerned, we’ve been an item for years! And I don’t think Simon here gets paid the big bucks for being unobservant, am I right, sir?” 

To say that Blair was astounded would be an understatement. He immediately began to shake in reaction. This was his worst nightmare! Jim outted as a gay cop! How were they going to cope? 

“Easy, Chief, easy!” murmured Jim as he sensed Blair’s rising panic. “It’s OK, babe, truly. Just calm down for me, OK?” 

“Sandburg – Blair. Don’t get so worked up, kid,” Simon spoke up quickly, offering his own attempt to placate the trembling guide. “Yes, I suppose I’m a bit miffed that you didn’t feel able to tell me yourselves sooner, but I understand why. I realise that you in particular would be worried that I’d have to pull your ride-along pass, wouldn’t you?” 

And at Blair’s tiny nod of shame-faced assent, he grinned and continued. “It’s OK, kid. I _do_ understand that you were trying to protect me, and the rest of your friends in MCU as well as Jim. But let’s put it this way. Your private lives are just that, and I don’t need to know what goes on behind closed doors. If you continue as you’re doing now, I can’t see a problem. Sure, if you start with the overt PDAs, that could create problems, but I trust you both not to do that.” 

“Thanks, Simon,” Jim replied feelingly. “You’re right insofar as I had already heard plenty of rumours regarding our relationship,” and he tapped his ear with a wry grin. “But I didn’t want to worry you, babe,” he added, squeezing Blair’s shoulder comfortingly. “I’ve believed for a while that our friends guessed there was something more to our friendship. Hell, I think they’ve even had a pool running on when we would come out and admit it! 

“But Simon’s right, babe. If we continue to behave with appropriate decorum, there shouldn’t be any problems. We don’t need to advertise, but if it does come out, then so be it. And if there are those who don’t like it, then that’s just too bad. Because I don’t give a shit what they think. I’m not ashamed to admit my love for you, and I believe our real friends will keep backing us up like they always have done, so try to stop angsting so much, OK?” 

Blair looked away for a long moment, plainly trying to come to terms with what he was hearing. Although he wasn’t convinced that things would be quite as simple as Jim made out, it was still a relief to know that it mightn’t be as bad as he had imagined either. And he was also mightily relieved that they hadn’t alienated Simon by not ‘fessing up sooner. At which point he realised that this might be a good time to broach another subject that was dear to his heart. 

Praying that he wasn’t about to offend either his lover or Simon, he turned to face them again, steeling himself to begin. 

“Um, there was something else I wanted to run by you, Simon, uh…sir. And if Jim doesn’t mind, I’d like to do it now. It seems appropriate somehow? It’s about the diss. And what I want to do with it,” and he looked up to meet Jim’s slightly concerned frown, his own eyes beseeching for permission to continue. 

“Um, it’s about our future, Jim,” he said, praying that Jim wouldn’t retreat behind the ‘Ellison Walls of Denial’ again. But he was slightly reassured when Jim smiled gently. 

“OK, Chief. Let’s hear it! Although I think I can guess where this is going!” 

Taking him at his word, Blair turned to face Simon again, the resolve clear in his expression. 

“You see, it’s like this, captain. The diss is finished. Jim’s seen it, and has given it his conditional approval, especially as I’ve made sure that his name doesn’t appear anywhere in it. I think it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever written, but it’s all because of Jim. All _for_ Jim, really. 

“Anyhow, I can submit very soon if I want to; in fact I can email an advance copy to Eli today to see what he thinks of it. And I believe that I’ll succeed on getting my doctorate out of it. And if I do, I’d very much like it if you could see your way to getting me on board at the PD as some sort of official consultant? I mean, I know that I’d probably have to share my time with other departments when needed, but I’d also be free to ride with Jim when he needs me. 

“Ah, what do you think?” and his nervousness was back in full force as he waited for both men’s reactions. 

Simon looked contemplative for a moment, before saying thoughtfully, “You know, kid, that sounds like good sense to me. As an official civilian consultant, I would have no grounds on which to bar you from riding with Jim even if I wanted to. And it would lessen the load of responsibility immensely for the Chief of Police and the Commissioner. They’re constantly on my back about the length of your ‘temporary’ pass, even though they don’t want to lose their best investigative team. 

“Leave it with me, and I’m sure we can come up with something. But what about your studies? Your teaching commitments at Rainier?” 

“Well, as to that, captain, I have had a few thoughts,” Blair confessed sheepishly. “Eli – Dr Eli Stoddard, that is, my mentor – has already said that he would like me to do a few lectures and seminars on a free-lance basis. So I could still keep my ties to the U even if I didn’t try for a permanent, full time professorship there. I don’t need tenure if I have an alternative career with Jim and the PD. 

“It just depends on what Jim thinks,” he ended quietly, mentally bracing himself for Jim’s objections. 

His relief was almost overwhelming when Jim turned him carefully to face him, his handsome face warm and kind. “I think you’re right on the nail, babe. Now Simon knows what you - we _both_ – need from this partnership, I’m not afraid of you submitting the paper. It’s brilliant, Chief, and I’m proud of you and your achievement. So let’s not procrastinate any further. Go, send that email and then submit, get that PhD and let’s get on with our lives, want to?” 

And finally he was granted a full-on Sandburg smile, bright enough to drive the shadows from the loft, however briefly. His lover would be recognised as the brilliant soul that he was, and Jim could only benefit from his guide’s continued presence. 

Unfortunately, however, there was still another very unpleasant reality to deal with, and he just knew that it was going to hit Blair anew very hard. 

It was Simon who broached the subject, grimacing as he realised that it was inevitably going to cast a huge dampener on everything they had discussed and agreed thus far. 

“Well, Blair - and Jim – now you’ve decided on a course of action – which I wholly approve of, by the way – we ought to be getting on down to the PD. You have a statement to give, Blair, and it won’t keep indefinitely. Brogan needs to be charged.” 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Blair went deathly pale, his breathing growing shallower and faster as the panic started to take hold again. He had almost succeeded in pushing the assault and everything it entailed to the back of his mind, and now it was there again, front and centre, and he really, _really_ didn’t want to face it. 

“Oh gods! No, Jim, I _can’t!_ I mean, yes, I can testify to Brogan’s attempts to smash the French windows and threaten me, but I can’t deal with everyone knowing what an idiot I was! I mean, you were right. I set myself up for this by giving him a lift in the first place, and then compounding my stupidity by inviting him back here! I deserved everything I got, man. At least in the eyes of everyone in the PD! It just confirms their belief that I’m nothing more than a little hippy fag who has you wrapped around his little finger! But knowing that everyone is aware of my assault? I can’t Jim. Please don’t ask it of me!” 

Jim quickly turned Blair to face him again, gripping his upper arms in a firm but gentle grasp. 

“Stop it, babe!” he commanded. “You have to do this. You know you do! If you don’t testify against Brogan, he could get off scot free to do this to someone else! Think how you would feel about that, Blair? You’re always the first to urge assault victims to stand up for themselves and testify, and rightly so. So live up to your convictions, babe. I’ll be with you all the way, and so will Simon and all our friends. You can do it, Blair. You’re so much stronger than you think you are. Your courage amazes me, Chief.” 

Blair stared at him for long moments, soaking up his lover’s genuine concern and heart-felt conviction. And he knew he’d have to comply. However embarrassing in the short term, Brogan couldn’t be allowed to get away with what he’d done. There was no other alternative but to do as Jim and Simon asked. So he took a deep breath and stiffened his spine before declaring as strongly as he could manage, “You’re right, Jim. Let’s do this. Now, before I change my mind!” 

And when Jim wrapped him in his powerful arms for a reaffirming hug, he knew he’d done the right thing.  


\---------------------------------  


**Later that night:**  


Blair trailed into the loft in front of his worried lover, sheer exhaustion and despondency evident in his dragging feet and slumped shoulders. Reaching the support pillar a short way inside, he stopped in front of it, resting his forehead against it for a moment before turning to face Jim, his expression a mask of hurt and disillusion. 

“I’m so sorry for all of this, Jim,” he muttered, his voice cracked and breaking with emotion. “You must be so angry with me. Why aren’t you bawling me out? I don’t understand.” 

Unable to bear his guide’s despair, Jim crossed to him in quick strides, cupping the beard-stubbled cheeks in warm palms as he gazed intently into the wounded blue eyes. 

“I’m not bawling you out, baby, because you’ve had more than enough punishment for today. You know, for your ‘good deed’? I’m still angry, all right, but not at you, babe. Not directly, at least. I’m angry that a kind-hearted gesture from a gentle soul should backfire like this. It might happen, only too frequently, but it’s still wrong and unfair. And if I was mad at you, you know it’s only because I care, don’t you?” 

Eyes filling with tears, Blair nodded slightly. “Yes, Jim. I _do_ know. But I don’t understand why, at times like these. But I’m so grateful anyway. I don’t deserve you!” 

“Oh yes you do!” Jim chuckled sadly in response. “You deserve everything I can give you. But that’s not always a good thing, now is it? What is it you call me sometimes? Anal? Cranky and controlling? Well, you’d be right. How you put up with _me_ beats me, but I’m grateful too!” 

At that, Blair finally gave in and grinned slightly, his expression still sad, but warming a little as he murmured, “And what’s wrong with ‘anal’, lover? Or ‘controlling’ for that matter? I’ve learned to love you for just those qualities, Jim. Because I know that you love me, and it’s your way of proving it to me. And because I didn’t want Brogan to ruin what’s between us, I couldn’t let him win.” 

“And that’s what makes you a hero in my eyes, babe, whatever you say about yourself,” Jim responded warmly. “You didn’t give in. Didn’t let him overpower you despite the fact that he’s so much taller than you, and probably a hundred pounds heavier, too, and all muscle! 

“And I’m even prouder of you for pressing charges against him, despite your misgivings. And believe me, kiddo, there’s no one in MCU that thinks any the worse of you whatever you might think. And if you ever do get any grief, they’ll have me to deal with!” 

Sighing, Blair finally relaxed enough to lean against Jim’s broad chest, soaking up the strength and love his sentinel was prepared to offer. He still felt unclean and undeserving, but if Jim was prepared to forgive him, then maybe he could get through all this after all and even learn to forgive himself in time. 

He dearly needed Jim to take him to bed and make him forget everything that had happened today, but there was something else he needed reassurance about first. Pushing back a little so he could meet Jim’s quizzical gaze, he said, “Are you really OK with me submitting the diss, Jim? I mean, when I spoke to Eli on the phone earlier to explain why I wasn’t at the U, he told me that he was looking forward to reading it as soon as possible, and that he had no doubts about me getting my doctorate. But it’s still up to you, Jim. If you truly don’t want me to, I won’t do it. I can still get it back.” 

“Babe, there’s no way I’d stop you submitting that paper. I’ve seen it, and I know you’ve kept my name out of it. If it’ll get you that consultancy job, then who am I to complain? And let’s face it, babe. It’s a pretty arcane topic, so unless someone unscrupulous got hold of it, or the media caught on for some reason or other, who but a few of your academic friends are going to put two and two together and come up with me? It’s a good paper, Chief, well-written as I’d expect from you, but I don’t think it’s going to be a best-seller unless you write a layman’s version for the general public some way down the line. 

“Which is actually an idea, don’t you think? For others out there like me who don’t understand what’s wrong with them? But be that as it may, I’ll look forward to showing off my little Professor, and I thank the gods every day for letting you find me.” 

And there was no other way Blair could answer, except for saying, “Take me to bed, Jim, please?” which won him Jim’s most beautiful smile. 

“Anything you say, babe. I think we both need that right now.” 

So saying, he wrapped an arm around Blair’s shoulders and walked him across the loft and up the stairs to their bedroom. At the top of the stairs, Blair smiled wistfully and murmured, “You know, Jim, I’ve missed this so much! I know it’s only been three nights, but it seems like forever! You’ve spoilt me now for sleeping anywhere else but in your arms!” 

“Hey, little one,” Jim replied, turning his smaller lover to face him. “You’re not the only one, baby. I hated it when you were away, and I think I punished myself as much as you by forcing you to sleep on the sofa. But I’ll never do that again, Chief. I swear!” 

No further words were said as he tenderly stripped his guide, laying him on the bed before quickly following suit. But when he rolled Blair beneath him, he saw a distinct flash of fear in the glorious blue eyes, accompanied by a hint of distress in the addictive scent. 

“Oh, shit, baby, I’m sorry!” he gasped, horrified at what he had inadvertently done. He had automatically assumed his dominant role, forgetting that mere hours ago his young lover had been threatened with rape in such a way. But even as he tried to pull away, Blair’s face cleared, and he reached up to grip Jim’s biceps in his hands. 

“No, Jim, please don’t! I want you – _need_ you – to treat me exactly as you always do. I want you to replace memories of him with our lovemaking. Our normal lovemaking. The way you make me feel so possessed. So cherished! Please, Jim!” 

Nodding in understanding, Jim smiled tenderly. “As you wish, baby. It’ll be my pleasure!” 

And it was. For both of them.  


\--------------------------------  


Some while later, with Blair sound asleep in his arms, sated and content, Jim took a moment to ponder on what he felt about the last couple of days. Spontaneous actions had certainly set off a rollercoaster of emotions and some unexpected repercussions, but all in all, they had come through relatively unscathed. Smiling fondly down at the curl-covered head resting on his chest, Blair’s soft breaths like a welcome breeze whispering across sensitive skin, Jim realised that he wouldn’t change a thing about the beloved young man in his arms. Yes, some may well believe that Blair had acted foolishly when he had given in to his good nature and picked Brogan up, himself included. But in truth, Jim wouldn’t have him any other way. That big heart and generosity of spirit was what had made Blair give so much to Jim, saving his very sanity even as he dedicated his life and love to the sentinel. He would just have to make certain he was always around to protect Blair, even if it was from himself. 

His grin grew wider as he thought about how he would feel to have his guide officially at his side at the PD. He was so proud of his genius lover, who so deserved his doctorate. Jim knew he was going to enjoy showing off the newly-minted Dr Sandburg once he defended the diss in a couple of weeks’ time. And if there were any repercussions once their new relationship eventually became common knowledge, as it undoubtedly would in time, then to hell with any detractors. They would live with it, and together they would survive, with the help and support of their true friends. 

And maybe, just maybe, there might come a time when they would be accepted for what they were. Not only Jim and Blair, life partners, but also as Sentinel and Guide. 

And as he drifted off to sleep, his final conscious thought was that it was never wrong to dream. Because sometimes dreams really do come true.  


**The End.**


End file.
